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Filtered dictionary
Convincing yourself that a discounted item represents sensible financial planning.
Read full entry →An unsolicited, uneditable audio monologue sent by a friend who wrongly believes their daily commute is fascinating content.
Read full entry →A financial extortion incurred when caught in a city center with a full bladder and zero public amenities.
Read full entry →Fortunate enough to still have access to a genuine, no-frills traditional café serving proper builder's tea.
Read full entry →A friendship secure enough to comment honestly on appearance without triggering offence or hurt feelings.
Read full entry →A brief, semi-serious physical and verbal struggle to be the one who covers a small, low-stakes bill.
Read full entry →The uncertain social status of a relationship too formal for a casual cancellation and too casual for total honesty.
Read full entry →The maddening, consistent slowness of a shared workplace appliance that seems to actively resist urgency.
Read full entry →A calm, almost defiant refusal to treat a piercing alarm with any real urgency whatsoever.
Read full entry →An unexpected, entirely undeserved cash bonus that briefly makes you feel like the luckiest person alive.
Read full entry →A brief but intense psychological break caused by minor foot trauma, often resulting in swearing at inanimate furniture.
Read full entry →The financially painful act of handing over extra money for a black coffee simply because the payment screen prompted you to.
Read full entry →The sudden, terrifying realization that you might be doing 34 in a 30 zone, resulting in dangerously slamming on the brakes.
Read full entry →A socially acceptable lie told to escape the claustrophobia of an open-plan office for fifteen minutes.
Read full entry →The cowardly, highly tactical avoidance of the office kitchen when you sense a tea round is imminent.
Read full entry →The tense, anxious suspension of a debit card over a reader, silently praying your bank doesn't decline a £3 coffee.
Read full entry →A digital invoice that destroys a friendship, driven by a psychopathic level of penny-pinching and an inability to let things go.
Read full entry →A financial penalty incurred not through malice, but through sheer, arrogant stupidity and the belief that rules don't apply to you.
Read full entry →The non-consensual trapping of a colleague in a confined space to forcibly deliver deeply uncomfortable, highly personal information.
Read full entry →The deeply unfair and unprompted act of using a coworker, barista, or Tinder date as an unpaid, non-consensual therapist.
Read full entry →A wordless, homicidal look deployed at a coworker who attempts to discuss a spreadsheet before you have taken your coat off.
Read full entry →The uncontrollable instinct to seek forgiveness from a coffee table after stubbing your own toe on it.
Read full entry →The financial transaction of buying an unwanted bottle of water purely to acquire the bathroom key code.
Read full entry →Raising a hand in greeting just as the recipient turns their head away, leaving your hand dangling in the void.
Read full entry →The dictionary is still being written
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