Topic
Broad classification for pets & animals.
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Filtered dictionary
The performance of insisting a painfully hot curry is merely 'quite nice'.
Read full entry →The last remaining poppadom whose ownership becomes a delicate social negotiation.
Read full entry →Compressing catastrophic events into manageable anecdotes through understatement.
Read full entry →Projecting complete calm while internally cataloguing seventeen different concerns.
Read full entry →The deeply unsettling feline habit of locking eyes with absolutely nothing on the ceiling for extended periods of time.
Read full entry →A state of voluntary immobility entered into because disturbing a slumbering animal is deemed morally unacceptable.
Read full entry →A suffocating, enclosed quiet where two people stare intensely at the floor numbers rather than acknowledging each other's existence.
Read full entry →A physics-defying catastrophe where the stickiest, most absorbent part of a breakfast item violently meets a filthy rug.
Read full entry →A deafening, passive-aggressive symphony of slamming plates and violently scrubbing pans to communicate intense domestic rage.
Read full entry →The terrifying realization that a hyperactive animal is about to wipe three pounds of wet dirt across your clean white jeans.
Read full entry →A tragic, physics-defying culinary catastrophe where the stickiest, most absorbent part of a breakfast item violently meets a filthy floor.
Read full entry →The subtle, venomous use of basic punctuation to indicate that the sender is absolutely furious but refusing to admit it.
Read full entry →The frantic, high-speed pocket search for a plastic sack while an elderly resident glares at you through their front window.
Read full entry →A brief, intoxicating rush of adrenaline achieved by successfully passing agricultural machinery without causing a head-on collision.
Read full entry →The desperate, pathetic attempt to inject personality into a soulless corporate check-in by brandishing a confused animal at the webcam.
Read full entry →The deep, irrational sting of rejection felt when a passing golden retriever refuses to acknowledge your high-pitched 'hello'.
Read full entry →A deliberate, highly calculated maneuver by a pet designed to break your ankles and scald your torso.
Read full entry →The malicious canine instinct to bypass 400 square feet of easily washable laminate flooring to deposit stomach acid onto a Persian rug.
Read full entry →A jarring, unexpectedly loud explosion that makes every dog on the street bark simultaneously and shakes the windows.
Read full entry →Someone who communicates every emotion, positive or negative, using the exact same recycled reaction image.
Read full entry →A traditional boozer awkwardly attempting a modern makeover while its bones remain stubbornly, gloriously unreconstructed.
Read full entry →A minor but genuine sting of jealousy triggered by a pet's uncontrollable excitement over a visiting friend.
Read full entry →Pleasant and engaging but seemingly incapable of recognising the natural end point of a chat.
Read full entry →A person who claims total flexibility while covertly rejecting every option until their preferred choice is reached.
Read full entry →The dictionary is still being written
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