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The comforting fiction that food eaten after midnight still belongs to the previous day's meal plan.
Read full entry →Constructing elaborate nutritional arguments in favour of late-night kebab consumption.
Read full entry →A breakfast consisting entirely of refrigerated takeaway that somehow tastes even better than it did the night before.
Read full entry →Intentionally preserving takeaway leftovers for an unusually satisfying morning meal.
Read full entry →A minor takeaway error elevated to the status of national emergency.
Read full entry →The performance of insisting a painfully hot curry is merely 'quite nice'.
Read full entry →Arguing about chilli intensity using entirely subjective evidence.
Read full entry →A state in which ordering has become so predictable that the menu serves no practical purpose.
Read full entry →Achieving complete culinary routine by permanently abandoning experimentation.
Read full entry →The last remaining poppadom whose ownership becomes a delicate social negotiation.
Read full entry →Employing negotiation, guilt and diplomacy to secure the final poppadom.
Read full entry →Greeting a delivery driver using GPS timing rather than the sound of the doorbell.
Read full entry →Obsessively reopening a food delivery tracker in the hope that the driver's icon has moved another few metres.
Read full entry →Pretending to deliberate despite having settled the matter long ago.
Read full entry →A prolonged struggle between a shopper and a self-closing freezer door.
Read full entry →The inescapable gravitational pull of a pub that warps time, turning a casual Thursday afternoon drink into a 3 AM kebab shop disaster.
Read full entry →A reckless, lazy game of chance where you grant a complete stranger access to a secure block of flats because you are expecting a pizza.
Read full entry →The grim olfactory assessment of a reusable box to determine if it has been forever corrupted by last week's vindaloo.
Read full entry →The humiliating public cleanup required when local wildlife tears open a cheap bin bag, exposing your dietary habits to the street.
Read full entry →The paralyzing shame of making eye contact with a freezing cyclist who just cycled four miles to deliver you a single portion of chips.
Read full entry →A rare, satisfying instance of a mild curry actually delivering the correct, non-negotiable level of blandness requested.
Read full entry →A devastating late-night discovery that the one reliable food source in town has, for once, closed early.
Read full entry →Displaying reckless, performative bravado around spice tolerance that collapses within the first three mouthfuls.
Read full entry →A comfortable, unspoken routine of always choosing the identical dish on every visit, out of habit rather than adventure.
Read full entry →The dictionary is still being written
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