Topic
Broad classification for shopping & retail.
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Filtered dictionary
A catastrophic, high-decibel toddler meltdown triggered by a full nappy, occurring specifically in the middle of a large supermarket aisle, transforming a peaceful grocery run into an immediate public emergency.
Read full entry →An oblivious individual who waits until the absolute last second to begin a deep-sea diving expedition into the abyss of their oversized handbag to find their wallet.
Read full entry →A customer who stands at the self-checkout, scans a pile of full-price groceries, and waits until the absolute final second to aggressively scan their Clubcard that instantly dropping the total by £15 while looking smugly at the person behind them in line.
Read full entry →To moisten your fingertips in order to open a stubborn produce bag.
Read full entry →A joke repeated so frequently to shop staff that it has long since ceased to be original.
Read full entry →The mental arithmetic involved in extracting maximum value from a supermarket meal deal.
Read full entry →To leave unwanted shopping items wherever convenient rather than returning them to the correct place.
Read full entry →To press a self-checkout touchscreen with increasing force in the belief that it will become more responsive.
Read full entry →Apparently unable to recognise obvious signs that someone works in a shop.
Read full entry →An unintentionally embarrassing family revelation made by a child while shopping.
Read full entry →Complete confidence that a shelf label displayed a cheaper price despite all evidence to the contrary.
Read full entry →To leave a trolley blocking an aisle while making a shopping decision.
Read full entry →The sudden inability to remember where your payment method is until the exact moment you need it.
Read full entry →To unintentionally expand a small shopping trip into a much larger one.
Read full entry →The misplaced belief that your chosen queue will move more quickly than all the others.
Read full entry →Attempting to navigate around an oblivious person while repeatedly apologising for their obstruction.
Read full entry →Monitoring supermarket Easter egg prices with the patience of a financial analyst.
Read full entry →Treating a single day of supermarket closure as though civilisation is temporarily ending.
Read full entry →The risky assumption that the cashier will correctly separate two customers' groceries.
Read full entry →Making repeated visits to the same shelf hoping for deeper discounts.
Read full entry →A public electronic suggestion that you may have committed retail crime.
Read full entry →The reluctant act of returning to a supermarket moments after leaving.
Read full entry →Treating a carefully prepared shopping list as little more than a vague suggestion.
Read full entry →A complete obstruction created by poor trolley positioning.
Read full entry →The dictionary is still being written
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