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The deliberate postponement of replying to a message you have already read.
Read full entry →The embarrassing, unprovoked wave of second-hand sympathy you feel for an influencer suffering a totally self-inflicted crisis, immediately followed by deep self-loathing for caring about an online stranger's staged drama.
Read full entry →To leave browser tabs open indefinitely with no realistic intention of returning to them.
Read full entry →To repeatedly check a charging device while willing the battery percentage to increase more quickly.
Read full entry →Acknowledging someone else's effort while quietly maintaining your original opinion.
Read full entry →Deliberately understating personal happiness to avoid appearing overly enthusiastic.
Read full entry →Passionately enforcing an entirely personal opinion on the acceptable date for festive decorations.
Read full entry →The mindless, addictive muscle memory of exiting a social media platform only to instantly tap the icon again.
Read full entry →A hyper-focused, agonizingly slow data entry that inevitably results in an 'Incorrect Password' error and a locked account.
Read full entry →The violent, highly satisfying physical closure of a work computer, signifying the absolute end of your corporate compliance for the day.
Read full entry →The dramatic, attention-seeking exit from a digital chat, executed solely to harvest validation from the people you just abandoned.
Read full entry →The petty, mathematical mirroring of a delay in messaging to ensure you do not appear overly eager.
Read full entry →An unsolicited, uneditable audio monologue sent by a friend who wrongly believes their daily commute is fascinating content.
Read full entry →The incredibly common, deeply humiliating corporate error of announcing a document that you completely failed to upload.
Read full entry →The pathetic, culturally ingrained habit of assuming blame when an oblivious idiot walks squarely into your chest.
Read full entry →A catastrophic application of pulling force that bypasses the plug and destroys the structural integrity of the drywall.
Read full entry →A completely useless digital reaction applied to a direct question, ensuring the sender remains entirely unhelpful.
Read full entry →A low-effort emoji reaction deployed specifically to kill a conversation you have absolutely no interest in continuing.
Read full entry →A 15-minute purgatory where Windows forces you to stare at a spinning circle, delaying the misery of your inbox.
Read full entry →An insufferable pedant who weaponizes Instagram direct messages to point out that the building in your photo is actually neo-gothic.
Read full entry →A sudden spike in blood pressure caused by a notification that inevitably precedes a rent increase or a complaint about a bin bag.
Read full entry →The infuriating modern reality of downloading a calculator app only to discover it costs £9.99 a week to use the 'equals' button.
Read full entry →The soul-crushing silence that follows a risky joke or a genuine request for weekend plans in a WhatsApp group of eight people.
Read full entry →A toxic, insecure dating strategy involving artificially delaying a WhatsApp response to project an aura of high value.
Read full entry →The dictionary is still being written
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