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Entries relating to british life.
Suggested home: British life & culture / British problems
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The negligent abandonment of domestic admin onto a flat surface, instantly transforming it into an invisible, permanent fixture of the house.
Read full entry →The stubborn British refusal to admit that sitting in a beer garden without SPF 50 was a massive, painful mistake.
Read full entry →An excruciating biological betrayal where your body promises a satisfying nasal release, makes you pull a weird face, and delivers nothing.
Read full entry →The painful, throat-straining effort to maintain professional politeness when your body is desperately demanding oxygen.
Read full entry →The brutal, unspoken condemnation of a colleague whose hot beverage preparation methods resemble those of a sociopath.
Read full entry →The late-night terror that you have fundamentally misunderstood the local council's complex, color-coded recycling schedule.
Read full entry →A collective, telepathic death ray projected by furious civilians who lack the actual bravery to confront the person cutting in line.
Read full entry →A uniquely British hostage situation where neither party will accept fault, but both desperately want the last word of contrition.
Read full entry →A resounding, two-handed strike upon the denim of one's own legs, functioning as a non-verbal warning that you are about to stand up.
Read full entry →The unrelenting, hypocritical British pastime of expressing total dissatisfaction with literally any atmospheric condition.
Read full entry →A tragic miscalculation of structural integrity, leaving you with a mouthful of gritty, sweetened sludge.
Read full entry →The utterly foul, lazy act of burying biological waste beneath heavy appliances instead of bending down to pick it up.
Read full entry →A preemptive, defensive scowl and bracing of the legs in anticipation of being soaked by a negligent transit van.
Read full entry →The agonizing internal debate over whether to aggressively highlight that you only ate a side salad, or just eat the £80 loss to avoid looking cheap.
Read full entry →A traumatic auditory hallucination induced by corporate burnout, causing you to flinch when no computer is even in the room.
Read full entry →A panicked, disorganized clawing of personal items from the counter to avoid holding up the queue of glaring shoppers behind you.
Read full entry →The agonizing inability of two British people to cleanly terminate a telephone conversation without saying farewell six times.
Read full entry →A densely packed, infinitely expanding mother-bag that houses sixty other crumpled supermarket carriers from 2014.
Read full entry →The humiliating process of proving to a teenage employee that you didn't steal a 20p loose carrot.
Read full entry →A polite managerial silencing tactic used to stop a difficult topic from being discussed in front of the rest of the team.
Read full entry →A terrifying acoustic event that prompts residents to army-crawl away from the windows to avoid interacting with whatever is on the porch.
Read full entry →The humiliating physical contest between a hungry human and a tightly wound piece of metal, usually ending with a bruised palm and a tea towel.
Read full entry →The risky, olfactory evaluation of an expired liquid to determine if you can avoid walking to the corner shop.
Read full entry →The distinctly British instinct to seek forgiveness from the very person who just assaulted your personal space in a pub.
Read full entry →The dictionary is still being written
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