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A weaponized expulsion of breath designed to communicate that taking the bins out is akin to climbing Everest.
Read full entry →The desperate, pathetic attempt to inject personality into a soulless corporate check-in by brandishing a confused animal at the webcam.
Read full entry →A sudden spike in blood pressure caused by a notification that inevitably precedes a rent increase or a complaint about a bin bag.
Read full entry →A sickeningly cliché, entirely fabricated response delivered to an HR panel to simulate being a flawless corporate drone.
Read full entry →A catatonic, existential state of mind experienced while dripping wet on the edge of the bed, lacking the will to put on underwear.
Read full entry →A deliberate, highly calculated maneuver by a pet designed to break your ankles and scald your torso.
Read full entry →A deeply infuriating four-minute audio file consisting mostly of indicator clicks, swearing at traffic, and heavy breathing.
Read full entry →Achieving a rare, comfortable equilibrium in messaging frequency that satisfies both partners' communication needs.
Read full entry →Someone who communicates deep affection almost exclusively through practical acts of maintenance and repair.
Read full entry →Two partners who communicate through a set of established references and phrases unintelligible to outsiders.
Read full entry →Using vague, softened language to describe a relationship dynamic that is, in reality, straightforwardly unsuccessful.
Read full entry →A sudden overwhelming backlog of messages and app alerts discovered the morning after midnight celebrations.
Read full entry →The performative act of sending correspondence at an unreasonable hour purely to signal effort rather than urgency.
Read full entry →A jarring, unexpectedly loud explosion that makes every dog on the street bark simultaneously and shakes the windows.
Read full entry →A small but real disappointment triggered by a work notification arriving well outside any reasonable hours.
Read full entry →So well-versed in a specific meme's context that a single image communicates an entire complex thought instantly.
Read full entry →An internet joke that has fully cycled out of relevance before being sincerely embraced by an older relative.
Read full entry →Someone who communicates every emotion, positive or negative, using the exact same recycled reaction image.
Read full entry →A dedicated, ongoing group chat thread devoted entirely to photographing and mocking terrible parking around town.
Read full entry →Successfully having a fabricated excuse accepted at face value without further probing or suspicion.
Read full entry →The predictable phenomenon in which nobody communicates snack plans and the table ends up with six identical bags of Doritos.
Read full entry →Sincere-sounding but entirely hollow; loaded with warmth that carries no actual intention behind it.
Read full entry →A flattering but entirely inconvenient supermarket policy that halts an entire shop over a splash of sherry for the gravy.
Read full entry →A national skill of verbal composure completely undermined by facial expressions that give away the actual, catastrophic truth.
Read full entry →The dictionary is still being written
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