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Entries relating to trains.
Suggested home: Travel & transport / Trains & stations
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A deliberately misleading rail announcement designed to keep passengers calm while their entire evening quietly evaporates.
Read full entry →The lazy, heel-crushing friction dance performed to remove tight footwear without expending the energy to untie the laces.
Read full entry →The painful, throat-straining effort to maintain professional politeness when your body is desperately demanding oxygen.
Read full entry →A psychological compulsion demanding round numbers at the petrol station, causing deep agony if it ticks over to £40.01.
Read full entry →An uncomfortably prolonged physical restraint masquerading as family warmth, usually deployed at Christmas.
Read full entry →The painful, chest-bursting restraint of panting designed to trick a passing dog walker into thinking you are in peak athletic shape.
Read full entry →A heavy, theatrical exhalation of air and vocal strain required to lower an aging human body onto a sofa.
Read full entry →The agonizing public embarrassment of wrestling a metal spider that has violently snapped inside-out during a storm.
Read full entry →The psychological torment of anticipating standing in a stranger's armpit on the Central line for the next five days.
Read full entry →A highly embarrassing lack of coordination when boarding the tube, forcing the victim to immediately pretend they meant to do a weird hop.
Read full entry →The absolute depths of weekend public transport despair, inflicted upon travelers when the rail network decides to do 'engineering works'.
Read full entry →The homicidal anger experienced when trying to walk past oblivious pedestrians wielding eye-level metal spikes in the drizzle.
Read full entry →The unforgivable, socially treasonous act of sliding into the front of a line, instantly making you an enemy of the state.
Read full entry →The visceral, dripping panic of sitting on a congested motorway praying the fumes in your tank get you to the next service station.
Read full entry →The terrifying, high-stakes game of ignoring the '0 Miles to Empty' warning purely out of a refusal to pay motorway service station prices.
Read full entry →The meticulous, paranoid documentation of every corporate conversation to ensure you cannot be scapegoated for an upcoming disaster.
Read full entry →The subconscious, competitive shuffling of commuters trying to secure the exact spot where the doors will open.
Read full entry →A terrifying physical manifestation of impatience that completely defeats the asynchronous purpose of email.
Read full entry →The nosy, highly entertaining act of invading a stranger's digital privacy to read their relationship drama.
Read full entry →A hostile territorial maneuver designed to deter commuters from sitting near you on a crowded train.
Read full entry →The agonizing, tear-inducing suppression of a throat tickle on a silent train, to avoid the judgement of fifty commuters.
Read full entry →The arrogant refusal to hold onto a pole while standing on moving public transport, resulting in inevitable stumbling.
Read full entry →A fiercely opinionated, entirely uneducated local patron who traps innocent drinkers in endless conversations about chemtrails and the government.
Read full entry →A broad categorization for any action involving terrible parking, loud chewing, or playing music without headphones on a train.
Read full entry →The dictionary is still being written
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